tmq: shark-jumping for a decade

Gregg Easterbrook has had a mostly entertaining column in Slate—and then in ESPN’s Page 2—for the better part of a decade. Most of the time, his fifteen-page football rants are enjoyable. But sometimes, one just wishes he’d shut up.

He’s back for the shiny new 2008 NFL season with a shiny new column. He starts off with an amusing-and-scathing bit about Brett Favre, and then dives into ten pages of political witticisms. He then has the gall to opine:

The NFL switched its season opener to a 7 p.m. Eastern start time so the game does not conflict with John McCain’s acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention that night. This suggests the presidency is more important than football, an idea I am not entirely comfortable with.

Really? If you’d have talked about anything even remotely related to football for the last seven fucking pages, I might believe you. If you’ve nothing to say about football—not even a snide comment about the Arizona CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN FOOTBALL-LIKE SUBSTANCE Cardinals—just shut the hell up. Shut the hell up and don’t bother showing up until mid-September. I would sooner jam Bill Simmons’s Red Sox-fellating tripe into my own alimentary canal than listen to another goddamned NASA rant.

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